Shhhh was what i said

---Hypothesis---

methinks faith is what we all need. yea well i guess i need it too. faith in self, and faith in..other people. and when either proves to be misplaced, faith in God. (the last i think im starting to have less trouble with). faith is defined by the bible: --1Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen-- Hebrews 11 (i dont know wad version, i got it off the net, my bible being downstairs, and google being far nearer). hard? yea course its hard.

then theres always gravity, lurking, somewhere. if faith is the thesis, gravity is the anti-thesis. it says, you cant do it, youre too weak, youre basically shit, dont do it, its only gonna end in failure (damn im sounding like a self-help book). of course no one calls it gravity but me, and if you are searching for the origin of my definition, look in the archives, and observe the date, its not a very pleasant thing to be explaining. i believe there was an amateur attempt at something vaguely poetic going on in my head that day, something like, for every spark of light in the night sky, desperately seeking heaven, theres gravity to pull it down, and it never does get there, and it explodes in a brilliant burst of colour and disintegrates into little sparks, and people go wow, and they call it fireworks, but hey, this is an era where people take pleasure in everyone elses pain is it not. only birds defy gravity. planes....yea well they consume large amounts of fuel. not natural =/. not that im complaining.

ahh damn im saying too much. i must be getting weak (something for another day, perhaps). anyway. they can fight and fight, and theyll go on fighting, and no one will win, not for some time anyway. who's to say which one should? there is such a thing as misplaced faith, after all. oh and unfounded sometimes something comes along and banishes gravity to hell, where it came from. or it might screw faith into the clouds where it belongs. course its only temporary. oh and sometimes, sometimes. something comes along, heaven-sent mayhap, and blows the confusion to oblivion, where it should be, or at least something like that, for a few hours, perhaps, of bliss. it is, after all, all in the mind. then the timing of it all amazes you, and so does the...knowing, for a moment.

As is my entire theory. which can either be common knowledge, which means i am merely rephrasing the obvious, or just uhh crap lol. holidays are prime time for mosquito breeding. i dont believe i speak from much experience, so the above is mostly insubstantial. and when one day i am about to shut down the blog and browse through all the archives i'll come back and wonder about the point of the above, which i admit i do not know, and think wtf this post is full of shit. (the last sentence was like a time capsule, ya. how exciting) ha, but i guess i should have more faith.

-page break, or maybe you should take an eye break, listen to moh now-

---The Alternative would not be something i could Live with---

part 2 baby. so yesterday i went to vivocity to watch Monster House( in 3d!) with wr and js basically i saw no point to the show, and the cinema was 90% empty. seriously it was just us and 4 other rj ppl and some pri sch kids and some middle-aged woman sitting beside me who kept going 'uh oh' and 'oh' in some hongkong/taiwan/china accent. who came with....some 60 something year old woman? i think they thought it was a horror show or something. then went shopping, not that i bought anything, saw quite a few people, etc lol.

most drama, in my experience, is self-created, subconsciously or otherwise. hmm although if you were to purposely stay out of trouble then life would be boring and go nowhere. still, i dont really believe in creating drama. anyway, some choices lead to drama, and they're ones that you probably need to make, so that path you'll have to take, and thats the other side of the argument i guess. but thats something for another day. or maybe its best not to even try. the following was drama in my path.

anyway fine i have to boast. lol. so yesterday i was walking home, and as i walked along the...path at the side of the house, which is beside a drain-canal-like thing, i chanced upon a bird on the floor. it was a dove i think, except it was green, and smaller than your average pigeon. never before seen in singapore, for me at least. and it was lying on its back. injured =/. it was kinda..lame. couldnt walk, couldnt fly too well. and there were..crows and mynahs around. this was around my side gate. so i call my maid over, and she kinda makes some comments that arent much help, and we approach the thing and it manages to fly...into the drain =/ and then it decides to lie there. the canal/drain, btw is pretty big. anw the crows were like perched on the fence opposite and cawing most ominously, so what else was there to be done, but ask my maid for a towel, and go down into the mostly-dry drain. anyway it couldnt really move, but could fly when i tried to pick it up. very short distances. so me, being afraid of flapping wings, did not catch it. instead my neighbours granddaughter florence, who happened to be at my house..playing with my sister (shes in s2..ithink) or something, decided to join the campaign, and uhh somehow she could catch it and i couldnt. so anyway i had it in the towel( did i say towel i mean floorcloth lol) in my hands but i had no idea what to do with it. was thinking of walking to the nearest vet, but...i duno. on closer observation its throat had a gaping hole and there was some spherical object sticking out of it, and i could glimpse the inside. uhh anyway it was quite gross. ( that, however, only struck me this morning). so i was walking out when florence came and said something like, consult the fruit stall uncle, which i had at that point in time just passed. so he says yang bu huo le, and something about bird flu, and points to the grass patch next to his shop, and says put it there ba (in chinese). so i did =/, and left it there(there was blood on the towel, i mean floorcloth), and i dont know whats become of it (i thought the crows wouldnt be able to get to it there). but according to florence whos grandfathers house is 2 houses away from the fruit stall its gone now so...i duno lol. Rest In Peace then, i hope. still, i duno if i would have even tried if it was a crow and not some cute ass pigeon/dove. moral of the story? i duno, at least i tried...and possibly saved it from the indignity of getting screwed by crows. though i dont think it might have cared much for indignity, cos those wounds must have freaking hurt. yea so...rip. that was one bloody long paragraph, arent you glad you took that eyebreak.

point of me mentioning all this? seriously, its partly to brag about how nice i am. haha im not kidding =/. it is a rather interesting story for myself anyway.
'if you're lost, run around like a headless chicken all you want, just dont scream, dont make a sound. that way, they'll say you're mysterious, brooding, and alot of things, but nothing negative ;)'. haha crap i spent 2 hrs 45 minutes typing this. waste of time =/.